First I would like to thank you for the opportunity you gave me, it was absolutely self -transforming, I am still realizing that, guess it is the reason it took a long time to write about. In a certain way, I didn't want that to finish, I have seen the classes many times and every time I could discover and reflect about it in a different way.
The question is: how I feel after Xinfa course? What happened after that? I am asking myself about what has transformed here inside. I could see myself in all this process, really reflecting about my actions and thoughts.
First, I think the anxiety of learning took place, and a state of disconnection too. It made me feel like I was not doing enough, that I had to study more and finish all fast. In my mind it was like success. After some time I could see that the timing of learning was not a linear path, that I had to take the right time, my time, of learning. Not the faster, only the right time. This teaching I am taking to many different situations in my life.
Also the video translation that I wanted to do, I just didn't do, for many reasons, and it made me feel bad about myself, in a way a desire, moving my heart very fast and again disconnected from center. This situation made me contemplate on how many things I am doing for the others, to gain attention, love, respect, or anything else, the perceived reality. And I was able to say NO to a lot of people and situations that were connected to this perception, without any suffering.
During this time and all the learning, I could reflect on my father's death and suffering, what does it mean? At this time I can only feel gratitude from all I have learned from him, he actually was a really good man, I also could reflect about his father, who was a very good person too. Absolutely kind, generous and wise in life. I am happy to recognize this virtue in me and it makes me feel like being a mother, and why I should be. I had an experience during meditation, where I could feel an infinite gratitude for being alive, and have this blessed life, because all of those ancestors who where here before me. I never felt something like that, it was really a very happy moment. It feels very good when we experience things that before were only a concept in mind.
Of course, after Xinfa, and all this transformation, I saw that my work as a practitioner was getting stronger, that being really connected with helping people, without fear of not having enough money to pay the bills...would completely change things. The number of patients increased a lot, and some of them were bringing their families and friends too. I am sure, and I am humble to say, that the diamond heart showed up, the light came from the inside, during the treatment, one loving word, or sometimes silence, made the difference.
Thank you a lot Yaron, I can't express in words all that has happened. More than doing a course, it changed me in many ways, I would never expect that. Hope you are happy, healthy and have a long life to share to many people all your knowledge and goodness.