I think some steps in meditation can be a very soft experience. For me, this one is more like "the house falling apart and the roof hits my head" kind of experience.
I guess one reason for that is I've kind of build my world around those illusions. I've build a sense of self around them. To withdraw from these perceptions kind of raises the question: who am I without my illusions?
There is also the feeling of shame.
One effect of letting go of perceptions of reality is realizing all the times I acted on these perceptions as if they where reality. Realizing I've created unnecessary suffering for others and myself can trigger shame. That gut wrenching feeling of shame is not very pleasant.
So, why continue with this endeavor?
Well, there is the opportunity to grow, to become a better version of myself.
A university professor of mine once told me that learning is a painful experience. I didn't really understand what she meant by that. Study was not always fun but not very painful.
Now I get it.
But I firmly believe it is totally worth it. I would not ever want to go back.
The little hunyuaner